ABOUT ANDY’S ALTER EGO(S)

all those years as an optician and then...

Warning: I have been advised to point out to readers that “About His Alter Ego” and the “About the Others” pages are attempts at self-deprecating humor, which I must admit is my favorite kind. I would rather poke fun at myself, than at others – I can’t hurt my own feelings. Some people may not find these pages funny, at all. Others may even find them somewhat horrific. Yet others may find them as humorous as I intended them to be. Now, for those in the first two groups, if you encounter someone from the third group – run, don’t walk, to the nearest exit.

Yes, well, welcome back. If you’ve come this far, you certainly are a glutton for punishment, aren’t you?

I presume you’ve read about Rev Little. I am so sorry. What a waste of time, eh? I’m his better half – okay, not really half – I mean there are a few more of us in here, but I’m the one that matters. And, I’ll apologize ahead of time if I lose track of where I am. You see, I’m listening to Led Zeppelin at bull blast as I write this. Grow up? No thanks … that’s way overrated.

If you find something posted that’s off-color or a little offensive – that’s mine. You see piety is like a belt on a fat man (and I can say that, if you know what I mean). You can tighten the belt all you want – you don’t lose the fat, though. You just squeeze it into places its not supposed to be and it looks – well, cockeyed and perverted. Since Rev Little can’t bear to really see his bent side, I’m his squeeze out, if you will. Yes, I know – charming.

Anyway, I’m the one that survived being my father’s prisoner for 15 years. The one that self-medicated with anything chemical or liquid, with anything posh, fancy or fast, and with any woman who would look at me twice. I’m the one that crashed seven cars and tried to off myself unceremoniously. I’m the one that Rev Little had to reckon with so he could actually function and get well. Okay, between you and me, I let him think that he won. Don’t tell him, but I’m the one that’s really sane. You can tell, can’t you? Yes, I knew you could. [wink, wink, nudge, nudge]

Anyway (hmmm – second time I’ve said “anyway” – I’ll have to tell my shrink), I’ll pop out once in a while for the comic relief. I mean you just can’t read theology and economics and his blathering on about Hebrew and Greek all the time, can you? My goodness, you’ll be a batty as he is. So I’ll try to put some humor into things once in a while – just enough to keep him and you sane. Yes, I know. I am a saint. In the meantime, sit down anywhere and take a load off. Not there! There’s a load limit on that one.

Note: As I mentioned above, I have been advised to point out to readers that this page and the “About the Others” page are attempts at self-deprecating humor. Whatever opinion you have of this page, you came here of your own volition which, on one hand, could indicate your somewhat sick and, of course, well developed sense of humor or, on the other hand, could show a disturbingly morbid curiosity. Either way, that’s certainly fine by me. If you choose to proceed to the “About the Others” page, you are doing so at your own risk and with no help whatsoever from me. ——————-> Stay out for goodness sakes

WELL, HELLO! YOU’RE HERE.

That's too bad - I'm so sorry. Oh, well, just try to make the best of it. What you'll find here is a variety of essays and ramblings to do with things theological, social, whimsical and, sometimes, all three. I don't write to get famous - trust me, I've been told how futile that would be - but to express myself. I love to communicate and browbeat - ummm, I mean dialogue - about the things I find intriguing. Since you're here, and the door's locked, why don't you stay a while. There's a page bar under the header with links to information about us - I mean me. Don't forget to tell me what you think - in a nice way, I mean.