Two and a half years ago, as I was wasting away in deepest rural Iowa, I had an epiphanic experience. Jenna and I needed some time away from people just like us – white, middle class, middle income, heterosexuals living all together in a community of less than 1,000 people. In actually, we weren’t just like them, which people suspected and then decided it must be that we are strange. And, evidently, they weren’t wrong. Anyway, we went to a Holy Relationships conference in Iowa City, and there met Rev Dr Mel White who was one of the speakers. We also heard about Soulforce.org – a group Mel started to engage in non-violent activism for GLBT causes – especially for those damaged by churches. That day was pivotal for my survival – it saved my mind, if not my life. Continue reading ‘The Community that is Soulforce’
Archive for the 'Personal Stories' Category
More and more stories are appearing in newspapers and mainstream internet news sources. Rather than sensationalizing the stories or taking conservative, liberal or biased stands, the stories are generally of human interest and bring real people with real lives into our living rooms. This, I feel, is a very good thing. The more people know others who are not like them, or feel as if they know them, the more accepting people tend to be.
Just as Massachusetts has not experienced an increase in marriage breakups, gay children or the breakdown of society generally, neither will the other states which have passed laws or whose state supreme courts have ordered the allowance of same-gender marriages. Iowa is yet another case in point. The sky has not fallen, although to hear the opposition it is on its way towards earth as we speak.
The following story (excerpted) is about specific people and tells their stories and those of the opponents fairly (even though I could do without the latter). In this case the very children who were supposed to be traumatized and stunted because of having same-gender parents speak about their lives and wishes for their parents. Continue reading ‘More traditional press about same-gender marriage’
The original article can be read here.
The last few months have been particularly interesting. My church, which had decided to close anyway, and my denominational leaders, decided medical leave was necessary because of a particularly bad time I was going through. At first, I resisted. I have always fought to keep my sanity and remain stable – it was a battle of wills which I won more often than not. My father gave into his mental illness and I was vehement about not doing the same thing.
After receiving the notice that not only was I on three months medical leave, but also was “terminated” after that period, I decided my previous approach to mental health was not going to work this time around – I was in too deep. Continue reading ‘Addendum to “Oooh – You’re Bipolar”’
This post was actually written about two years ago, in response to the the musings of a Soulforce member about the nature of sexuality. It includes very personal information, but I think it’s worth the risk for the discussion.
I think Daniel’s notion of a continuum is immensely important. I also think it explains a lot of fear on the part of people who are concerned about where they fall on that continuum. I dare say that if we look at any line that represents a continuum, very few of us are found at either extreme. I am an introvert who is reasonably confortable being extroverted. I am an intellectual who is driven to do physical things – woodworking, gardening – in order to feel complete. There are so many scales that this kind of analysis could go on forever, but hopefully I’ve made that point. Continue reading ‘My Recovery From Homophobia’
The attitudes about leadership that I brought into my first church assignment as an administrator were saturated with bias, largely because I equated leading with managing. In retrospect, I had witnessed very few examples of leadership, as I now understand it. I had, however, been privy to and used many management styles, most of which were based on the manipulation of people and situations to satisfy corporate and/or self-interest.
Eventually, I resigned from the business arena because I couldn’t reconcile my role, or generally accepted management practices, with a newly developing worldview after becoming a Christian. After a semi-reclusive period spent building furniture and helping develop small group ministries at my church, I re-entered the public world as a church employee, only to encounter the same management attitudes that had repulsed me in the business environment. On the first night of a class on church leadership some years ago, we listed words describing leadership. If I remember correctly, my only contribution to that original list of words was ‘manipulative’.
Any description of my leadership style will be somewhat nebulous, as I am still processing the significance of concepts contained in various books and discussions and, most importantly, experiences from life in church. This will not be an exercise that ends with my last call.
It is hard to fathom, at least for me, how two people with similar conditions can be so very different. To coin a title from a Tim Weisberg album we are in many ways “twin sons of different mothers.”
Not including age (unfortunately I am the older son), we share interests such as cars and woodworking, similar levels of intelligence, senses of humor, music, recreational activities, introversion (even down to Myers-Briggs results). Heck, we even pack our excess weight in the same place. And, as mentioned in previous post, Karl and I are both bipolar.
The differences in our personalities, lives and how being bipolar plays out in our daily existence are somehow perfectly mirrored in the conditions of our garages and workshops. I am left wondering if every person’s personality could be understood and analyzed based on the condition of their garages. Forget the house, the furnishings, the kitchen and the yard! If archeologists a thousand years from now were to delicately uncover our perfectly preserved work spaces, they could peg our personalities down to a “t”. Continue reading ‘Twin Sons of Different Mothers’
I am looking forward to the first of two road trips this summer. This one, in which we will end up in Iowa for Leah’s high school graduation, is a warm up for the Montana trip in late June for Jenna’s late father’s memorial service. A stopping point on each trip will be our dear friends Karl & Sue in Central Ohio. I was going to call them brother Karl and sister Sue, but then I’d have difficulty explaining the two children they have together. They are like family to Jenna and I. I feel this especially for a couple of reasons.
The first is that I have no siblings or parents living in the states. Apart from my children, who I dearly love but do not relate to as siblings (obviously enough), my family is in Australia. It has been four years since I saw my mother, and 15 since seeing my sister and brother. The role Karl & Sue play in my life, therefore, fills an enormous void. Continue reading ‘Road Trip’