This isn’t original to me, either. I just don’t know who to credit.
A GUIDE TO UNDERSTANDING GAYS
(prepared for heterosexuals, or neanderthals – you pick)
A. THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE
They work at their jobs.
They shop for groceries.
They go to the movies.
They do laundry.
They order take-out.
B. HOW TO BEHAVE WHEN YOU MEET GAY PEOPLE
1. Don’t run screaming from the room. This is rude.
2. If you must back away, do so slowly and with discretion.
3. Don’t assume they are attracted to you.
4. Don’t assume they aren’t attracted to you.
5. Don’t expect them to be as excited about meeting a heterosexual as you may be about meeting a gay person.
6. Don’t immediately start talking about your boy/girlfriend or husband/wife in order to make it clear that you’re straight.
7. Don’t ask them how they got that way. Instead, ask yourself how you got the way you are.
8. Don’t assume they’re dying to talk about being gay.
9. Don’t expect them to refrain from talking about being gay.
10. Don’t trivialise their experience by assuming it’s a bedroom issue only. They’re gay 24 hours a day