Just for Fun …

… and not original … and certainly not new.

How many Christians or other sects does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic : Only 1  –  To pray for it until the old broken one falls to the floor and another jumps up in the Spirit.

Pentecostal : 10  –  One to change the bulb, and nine to yell against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians : None  – Certain lights are elected by God to  go on and off at predetermined times. Who are we to question?

Mennonites:  As many as it takes to settle the underlying conflict that caused the bulb to burn out.

Roman Catholic : None  –  You can’t light ’em. You can’t smell ’em. You can’t ring ’em. Who needs ’em?

Baptists : At least 15  – One to change the light bulb, three committees to approve the change and the little women to bring the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: 3  –  One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons : 5  – One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it. [Oh, now that’s just mean] Or, if you a male and you wait long enough, you could be your own light.

Methodists : Undetermined  –  Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely burned out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. We are a non-bulbal church. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene : 6  – One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None  – Lutherans can’t deal with change.

Unitarians :  We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Amish :  – What’s a light bulb? Must be English. Hrrrumphh.

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... or, preaching from both ends


That's too bad - I'm so sorry. Oh, well, just try to make the best of it. What you'll find here is a variety of essays and ramblings to do with things theological, social, whimsical and, sometimes, all three. I don't write to get famous - trust me, I've been told how futile that would be - but to express myself. I love to communicate and browbeat - ummm, I mean dialogue - about the things I find intriguing. Since you're here, and the door's locked, why don't you stay a while. There's a page bar under the header with links to information about us - I mean me. Don't forget to tell me what you think - in a nice way, I mean.

Readers since Jan 2009

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