… and not original … and certainly not new.
How many Christians or other sects does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic : Only 1 – To pray for it until the old broken one falls to the floor and another jumps up in the Spirit.
Pentecostal : 10 – One to change the bulb, and nine to yell against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians : None – Certain lights are elected by God to go on and off at predetermined times. Who are we to question?
Mennonites: As many as it takes to settle the underlying conflict that caused the bulb to burn out.
Roman Catholic : None – You can’t light ’em. You can’t smell ’em. You can’t ring ’em. Who needs ’em?
Baptists : At least 15 – One to change the light bulb, three committees to approve the change and the little women to bring the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: 3 – One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons : 5 – One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it. [Oh, now that’s just mean] Or, if you a male and you wait long enough, you could be your own light.
Methodists : Undetermined – Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely burned out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. We are a non-bulbal church. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene : 6 – One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None – Lutherans can’t deal with change.
Unitarians : We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Amish : – What’s a light bulb? Must be English. Hrrrumphh.